“We fear change.” – Garth Algar

There are people who thrive on change, who look at every change as a new possibility, each holding the potential for something new and wonderful. I am not one of those people. The thought of change fills me with dread; even if the changes are ones I initiate myself for good reason, the idea of change still produces a great amount of fear and anxiety.

I wasn’t always this way – when I was younger, I embraced change; eager for new adventures, I kept my mind open and took big risks with little thought for the consequences (this is how I ended up in Nebraska for two years – a story for another time).

I’m not sure when my current fear of change started, or if it’s due to growing older and feeling like I have more to lose. But now, as I feel myself on the precipice of all sorts of new things (new living situation, changes in relationships, possibly a career shift), I’m trying to recapture that sense of adventure I felt not so long ago.

As a young girl, I often envisioned myself as a strong pioneer, standing in front of a wide vista, feet planted solidly on the soil, hands on hips, surveying the horizon clear-eyed as the wind blew my hair back from my face. That pioneer girl is still inside me; I still hear her calling. I just need to find a way to overcome the fear and let her out.

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Tamara Holloway

Tamara Holloway

Teacher, writer, knitter, pun-hater. I would be a professional smartass if I could, but since the government is loath to support the arts, I have to do my smartassing as a freelancer. I have a Ph.D. in English from the University of Oregon – if you want to know about Tennyson, the Duke of Wellington, and Queen Victoria, I’m your gal. I enjoy educating young(ish) minds and correcting their grammar, and occasionally I write stuff.

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  • Oh yes, change was much easier and much more exciting when I was younger! I agree, less risk involved and I was the only one who had to suffer the consequences if things didn’t work out.

  • Sara Quinn

    When I feel this way, I sometimes try to imagine my younger self looking at me now. What would she think of me?