“We fear change.” – Garth Algar
There are people who thrive on change, who look at every change as a new possibility, each holding the potential for something new and wonderful. I am not one of those people. The thought of change fills me with dread; even if the changes are ones I initiate myself for good reason, the idea of change still produces a great amount of fear and anxiety.
I wasn’t always this way – when I was younger, I embraced change; eager for new adventures, I kept my mind open and took big risks with little thought for the consequences (this is how I ended up in Nebraska for two years – a story for another time).
I’m not sure when my current fear of change started, or if it’s due to growing older and feeling like I have more to lose. But now, as I feel myself on the precipice of all sorts of new things (new living situation, changes in relationships, possibly a career shift), I’m trying to recapture that sense of adventure I felt not so long ago.
As a young girl, I often envisioned myself as a strong pioneer, standing in front of a wide vista, feet planted solidly on the soil, hands on hips, surveying the horizon clear-eyed as the wind blew my hair back from my face. That pioneer girl is still inside me; I still hear her calling. I just need to find a way to overcome the fear and let her out.
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