I giggle to myself thinking, ‘Oh. My. Gosh, when did I turn into my mom!!???’
I do all the things that I used to roll my eyes at. All the things that I found embarrassing and annoying in public. I am her.
When I started to realize this was happening, (about the time I had kids old enough to make me talk through clenched teeth, about the time I realized I took the guilt trip to an art form, about the time I realized that my mood could swing from happy in the middle of a sentence… to ’TURN THAT DOWN NOOOOWWW!” …evil red faced mom in an instant), I was horrified! No way am I like my mom!!! But I am.
What’s funny to me now is that it ever really bugged me. Why do people hate the idea of being like their parents? Of course my mom is not perfect, but she isn’t all bad, she isn’t bad at all. Actually she is pretty awesome. And for the longest time I only saw my annoying qualities that I identified with her. The stuff motherhood brings out in you. I mean besides the ‘dive in front of a bullet for you’ kind of love. But now I see there is so much more to her than that…so much more to me than that too. And when I notice myself talking to strangers in the grocery line like long lost friends or changing the words to songs so they can be about doing the dishes while I do the dishes…it just makes me giggle. Because I’m silly…just like my mom. And I can’t even help it.
There are a lot of reasons why I see my mom differently now. I guess I see her as a person. A whole life, not just the years as my mother. She’s my friend now and we can be silly together and laugh at how we both are. It’s the best. I admire my mom so much. She is someone who has lived with a strength I only hope to inherit as well. She has an optimism and fight for life that is inspiring. And forgiveness and patience that I only now am starting to understand. She’s a fixer and a prayer and doer and maker, and I love that about her. I want to be like my mom. Yep. I just said that.
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