Guiltless sick

My dad is a doctor.

Growing up, we would often go days without seeing him. He would leave before we woke up and come home after we were asleep.

Sometimes I would get sick.
So, here’s how things went when that happened (and I’m of two minds on the subject):


He was busy. He was tired.

He’s been dealing with sick people all day.
Of course he doesn’t want to come home to more of it.

 

I’m disgusting. He hates me.

Something is wrong with me. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be okay?
Maybe I can pretend to be better. Then he’ll like me again.

Now I feel guilty every time I’m sick. I understand why this happens— I am a logical being.
I wish that I could “logic” my way out of the feelings of worthlessness that well up whenever my immune system fails me.

There is something internal at work. I have to convince that guilt-feeling part of myself that sickness happens in humans… that being sick is part of being human, and that holding on to guilt serves no one.

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Sara Quinn

Sara Quinn

Although she began college life as an art major, Sara was quickly sucked into the whirly depths of psychology. She spent a few years working as an educator and eventually became a Peace Corps volunteer in the Dominican Republic.Now she gets to make stuff for a living, which suits her fine.Sara co-owns Squid&Crow, and lives in Pasco with Brendan and Lila. She happily spends hours composing, coloring, and texturing (when she’s not geeking out on comic books and video games).

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