I have always been an outsider. For one year in Junior High, I focused on being “popular” and trying to fit in. By the time 8th grade rolled around, I was over it.
I’m not antisocial; I actually make friends easily and enjoy conversations with people. However, in the last few years I have found that two things set me apart from most of my peers. These two major differences make it very difficult for me to connect with a lot of people in my community.
I don’t have any kids.
I can count on one hand the number of my friends that are childless. Brendan and I live in a cul de sac that is full of families with children. Almost everyone I know that is in their 30s has at least one child.
That is fine. I love children. I especially love my nephews, who are all weird and wonderful. I just don’t want to be responsible for any of my own little humans.
There is also the matter of overpopulation, about which I am keenly aware. I would like to adopt one day, when my own craziness is under control enough for me to take on that responsibility. There are so many children already in the world, hoping to one day have a family. Why would I want to make more?
(This is in no way derisive of other people’s choices to have children; I am only outlining my own reasoning for not doing so).
I don’t believe in any deities.
This is the big one. I am scared to talk about this. I am scared to write about this— so much so that I have put off publishing this post for two weeks (sorry, John).
There is nothing in this big ol’ world that is hated more than atheism. I do have degrees in both psychology and sociology, and I understand subjectively the reactions of those that are religious to those of us who are not. On a personal level, though, it’s hard to take.
I believe in science and reason, and I don’t at all fear death or worry about being alone in the universe. I don’t need faith to save me from anything. I have a wonderful life!
My husband, my family, and my dog love me dearly, and I love them… especially my husband!
I have everything I need to feel fulfilled and happy. I can see, hear, and feel the world around me, and I live my life as a humanist. Instead of preparing for an afterlife, I am fully engaged in this one, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
(Sorry to be redundant, but I want to say again that I am not criticizing anyone. My parents and many of my friends are religious, and I still love them!)
So now I’m preparing for the aftermath. This blog post was extremely difficult for me to write, and waiting for it to come out will be nerve-wracking. I hope I can keep my cool and not trash it before it’s out.
It may be that I’m opening myself up to fiery contention (or the opposite may happen… it’s usually either rage or cold shoulder). This little confession/explanation of mine will probably be ignored completely by anyone who feels uncomfortable reading it.
Whatever your reaction, I hope that you will remember that I’m the same person you already know. I’m “coming out”, I guess.
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