The Year of the Hair

I’m going to be candid about a topic that woman unofficially keep to themselves. This is the year of my third grey eyebrow hair. It’s stark white and aloof. The situation has escalated. I’ve decided to add another step by hand painting individual hairs.

How many steps will there be? I’m turning the corner to age 39. Already the amount of time and money seems excessive. It simultaneously does not feel like enough. Five years ago I killed all of my little legs spider veins. This involved lots of needles and flushing high concentrations of saline into the veins and doing it one by one. I hate needles and salt yet loved it. I was free to wear shorts!

My hair started turning white in my mid twenties. I now color it every four weeks. I cannot accept a white line across my head. I own a giant magnified and well-lit mirror. Twice a week a full examination is done. I can’t have anyone see that my brows do not grow into a lovely swoosh. Given free reign they might just grow into my forehead and reunite as one brow. I dedicate a good hour to staring at my pores and making sure nothing else is growing or colonizing new portions of my face. Then I apply products to bleach out my skin.

Two years ago I tried Botox. Unless civilization collapses I can no longer picture kicking this step out of my life. I was told, “you look great…rested”. No one could tell. Some that I told are now having their own love affair with it now.

We are at the point where just staying the same becomes a goal. How far does that go? Do you look in the mirror one day and say “Enough” realizing it’s time to be graceful. Do you wake up one day and realize you look like Joan Rivers or Bruce Jenner?
Vanity gets addicting. On paper it looks silly. In reality women in our age group are at a tipping point. It’s harsh but true. How we do or do not handle it will vary and be judged. Just know that there are more of us inwardly feeling this strain.

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Patricia Thackham Roberts

Patricia Roberts

Trish grew up in Finley and now lives in Spokane. She works in corporate America but teaches painting classes on the side. In her free time she writes quirky stories about her life, bikes great distances and takes road trips to odd little towns. She is fascinated with post-apocalyptic fiction and attributes this to growing up in the Tri-Cities.

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  • Becca Lingley

    I can so relate to going gray/white way way too early in life. It started for me at 21. I don’t think coloring your hair, for example, is as much of a vanity thing as a fear/denial thing. I shouldn’t be gray until I’m at least 60, maybe 70. Why are genetics mean to some of us? I don’t know. I also think we are more productive/perform our work in life better when we feel “put together” whatever that means for each individual.

  • Suzy Garza Higley

    Hilarious!!!! You left out the stray eyebrow hairs that get confused and lost in their old age and decide to try the chin as a new home. yep…39 is awesome.

  • Cari McGann McGee

    This is why I have a daughter. I have a mole on the side of my face that used to regularly spourt just one hair. Now? A family, no, a commune of hairs regularly appear. It is my 12-year-old daughter’s job to periodically look at my face and say, “Mom! You need to pluck. There’s something at 12 o’clock, 4 o’clock and 6 o’clock.” So sad.