It’s been a rough month.
So far this year I’ve put my “work” time into three things: software development and consulting for clients, writing a technical book for a publisher, helping run coworking at Room to Think for great justice.
I haven’t felt particularly built for any of them, but all three are prerequisites for some other still-unclear thing I should be doing with my life.
Or so I thought. Suddenly this month, each one pretty much ensured the failure of the other two!
I couldn’t help coworking succeed because I was too busy with client work and book writing. I couldn’t bill clients for the time I spent blankly staring at their work; too many late nights writing and long days of coworking decisions, all rattling around in my now-fried brain. And how can I afford to deliver the book I promised to write, with potentially paying clients waiting for results and now a coworking space to salvage?
I’ve been a letdown to a lot of people this month.
Or so I thought.
Turns out, in at least one situation, it’s okay that I let go. In a month, Room to Think is dead / Long live the coworking community — in others’ more capable hands.
“My” book, as well, is likely beyond my intervention. It wasn’t about me anyway. If the publisher decides to find a more punctual champion of this particular technology, so be it.
For my clients too, I am not the goal. They’re after a result with a budget and a timeframe…we should still be able to make up for lost time and meanwhile, my invoices sure ain’t gonna much hurt their budget.
Not that this is all without consequence! Oh no, I wish I would have handled this month much much better. I should have more quickly let go of my own goals, and had more care for those around me instead. If I’d done that from the start, maybe even my own good feelings and positive self-image wouldn’t be so let down right now, because they wouldn’t have mattered in the first place.
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