My mom is a bit of a snob.
She wouldn’t use that word. She’d say that she has high standards. That’s also true.
Friendship is one area where she had high standards, and she passed that on to me.
“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”
That’s one of the truisms that I heard on a regular basis when I was growing up. She busted it out whenever she thought I was spending too much time with people that I shouldn’t be, or when she felt my friends weren’t treating me the way I should expect them to.
Snobby? Perhaps. 100 percent true? I think so.
Mom raised my sisters and me to be great friends and to expect great friends. To expect friendship to be a two-way street. To give my best to my friends, and to expect their best from them. (How good I am at that on a daily basis might be up for debate; nobody’s perfect.)
We’ve probably all had a friend or two that took advantage of us in some way. Forgive them? Of course! But when it becomes a pattern, that’s something else. Mom’s message was that those people aren’t really friends.
Maybe it sounds selfish, but sometimes you have to let friends go. You have to stand up for yourself and say, “I deserve better.” You have to be picky about who you call “friend” — who you associate with every day.
Life’s too short to build a community around yourself with anyone but the best people you know. Find them. Friend them. Cherish them. Treat them how you want to be treated. And let the riff-raff go.
Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. And to all moms everywhere. Thanks for teaching us countless lessons that are just as true today as they were then.
PS – Reading this Pot-Luck project for the first few weeks has made it clear to me that there are some great people in this community. I find myself wanting to gravitate toward them. I hope you do, too.
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