Love and Fear

Basking in the post-TriConf glow, I’ve been thinking back over the past couple of days and I see a theme of 2 seemingly opposing thoughts: love and fear.

There was no pre-conference directive on what to talk about. No collaboration between presenters to coordinate talks. But there was a lot of commonality and synchronicity between many of them. People getting over their fears, their excuses, their roadblocks. And how did they do that? By loving the people around them. Letting down their guard, their shields, their facades. Inviting others to share their highs, lows, and in-betweens, realizing that there is a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Being real and removing the shackles of whatever trope they were subscribed to. Leaning on each other to battle their fears. 

We often get caught up in life and feel we don’t have the time, energy, or courage to spend to maintain or gain real friendships, so we make everyone an acquaintance and just call them friends. But when our fears arise, those “friends” aren’t able or willing to help. So we stew, mired in misery, suffering alone. It doesn’t have to be that way. All it takes to turn an acquaintance into a friend is to reach out and ask. Getting past the fear of rejection. 

Many presenters approached these topics from many different angles, but the similarities were there. The audience, too, could feel it. I heard many first-timers saying the same thing I did in my first time last year: TriConf was amazing and it’s completely changed my perspective. Well over a hundred people converged at the Richland Public Library to create a mini community filled with love, generosity, and knowledge. They all left with the keys and passion to spread those feelings within a greater community. 

Fear can never be eliminated, but it can be managed and overcome. Love can be difficult to share without feeling vulnerable. But by tackling both together, we can all get over our fears and love our friends and make our community a better place to live. 

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John Higley

John Higley

I'm a software developer, working remotely from Richland, WA, working on solving the many issues of managing financial services products on the web. I'm fascinated by the user experience of web sites and applications and read way more than I should. Working on effectively sharing knowledge and ideas has become a recent, but burning, passion.

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  • Steve Meddaugh

    I recently took a risk and opened up to a couple friends about some personal struggles that I was dealing with and the results were amazing. It has taken our friendships to a whole new level – past the superficial “wassup dude” to a real relationship that is honest and dare I even say loving. If felt really good and I’m so glad I moved past the fear and entered into a deeper friendship that is meaningful, supportive and healthy.

  • Very cool. I’ve experienced the same thing. The more I’ve opened up to people the closer I’ve gotten to them. Not having that stress of wondering what’s ok to share and what’s not is a huge burden to lift off and feels so fulfilling.

  • Lou Galindo

    As we discussed, one of my personal struggles is allowing myself to open up to people. As much as I enjoy meeting new people and making friends, it’s really hard to make myself vulnerable to possible rejection. I wish I could get out of my own head and just go for it. =)