I don’t believe in numerology. I don’t believe in palmistry, phrenology or tarot cards. I don’t believe in astrology, either (although descriptions of Capricorns are eerily accurate in describing my daughter).
However, I have a friend who does believe in numerology. When I ran my first race ever, a 5K, in February, she asked me what my bib number was. I told her it was 1085. She told me that number, for numerology purposes, is 5. 1+0+8+5 = 14, broken down to 1+4 = 5. 5 always signifies change.
I ran a total of five races this year. That wasn’t by design. It just happened. My bib numbers in three of the races were numbers other than 5. I think 1, 2 and 4. Maybe one was 8, I can’t remember. But for my last race of the year, my bib number was 1040 – 1+0+4+0 = 5. My numerology friend told me it meant 5 and giggled – “You get that a lot”. That’s when I realized that for my first race of the year, my first race EVER, the number was 5, and for my last race of the year (not my last race ever), my number was 5.
During the race I thought about it. I thought about how 2013 was a year of change for me.
1) I began racing, for crying out loud! I’d never considered myself a runner before, but I certainly am now.
2) I lost 32 pounds. I have put some back on, but I’m going to lose them again, not because society, or height or weight charts, or, God forbid, my spouse, is telling me to be thinner, but because I’m a better, more efficient runner when I weigh less.
3) I had a friendship rupture. In late March a friend of many years decided I wasn’t someone she wanted to be around daily, and she took steps to separate herself from me. That had never happened to me before and it caused me to study my reflection, ask myself some difficult questions, and cry a lot of tears. We’re still friendly, but we’re not what we once were, and that was painful to endure.
4) My son grew taller than me. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it was surprisingly emotional to have him literally look down at me. How can something that came from your body, be bigger than you? How can the child be so close to being a man? I don’t have these same thoughts with my daughter. I think it’s because I’ve been a young girl before. I know what she’s going through. But navigating adolescence through a young man’s eyes? That’s terrifying.
5) People told me I inspired them. A friend has repeatedly urged me to create a blog that discusses my running and my weight. I think, in the past, my positive outlook on life and my general demeanor have made people glad to know me, or remark that they’re pleased I am involved in something with them, but it wasn’t until this year that I have heard I’ve inspired someone. It’s incredibly humbling.
So 2013 was a challenging year for me. I saw this quote about change and I think it’s quite apt.
The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them. ~George Bernard Shaw
As we hit 2014 (I’ll hit it running!), take a look at your measurements. See what’s changed. Something has. Use it as an impetus for further change. The kind you can reflect back upon in 2015 and be glad you implemented this year.
Happy 2014! Happy changing!
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